Not a Runner

First I have to say I know I said I’d post more about my meal prep and then I didn’t, so I apologize. I will post more about it because I’ve been taking some yummy food pictures, but for now, I just want to share a huge victory I experienced yesterday!

Let me preface by saying that I am NOT a runner. Never have been. Always hated it. I always tell people that within the first 3 minutes of a run, I am thoroughly convinced that I am going to die. And that is really true.

As of yesterday, I don’t think I’ve run for exercise in over 5 years. I also don’t think I’ve ever run more than 1 mile at a time. I have family and friends who love to run 5k’s (and bigger races) and I’ve always just said, nah, not my thing. But since my lifestyle change and since I’ve been exercising almost every day for the past 8 weeks, I wondered if maybe I could run a 5k. There is a race coming up this month that my husband, sister and I have been talking about doing. It’s only a few weeks away so I figured if I was seriously going to consider doing it, I better try running!

Yesterday was a gorgeous day. The first one we’ve had in months! Something about the weather and my heart made me want to go for a run. When Bryan got home I immediately told him I wanted to run and could he watch the kids. He agreed and told me the route in our neighborhood he takes for his 5k training. I went out, not sure how long I would last, but I had my music playing and I just went. I checked my stopwatch at 2 minutes in and thought, ok, this is usually when the negative thoughts come rolling in. So I focused on the song I was listening to and kept going. If any negative thoughts came in, they left immediately. I felt alive, I felt free, I felt like, “I can do this.”

The voice I heard in my head was brand new. We all have that voice in our head, and mine, unfortunately, has a tendency to be negative. To say, “you can’t. you won’t. give up now before you humiliate yourself.” Sad, I know. But that’s just always how its been. Until now!

Yesterday, the voice in my head, my voice, was positive, uplifting, encouraging, confident. I had a hard time not smiling and laughing at times because I was so overwhelmed with the way I felt. I felt changed. I felt like I had been made new. I finished the whole 5k (slowly, yes, but I finished) and I couldn’t wait to see my husband and tell him what I was feeling. I burst into tears because I told him, fully convinced, that I was a new person. That God has changed me in a new, exciting, unbelievable way and I will never be the same.

I really can’t put into words the way it felt, but it was incredible and I am so, so thankful for it. God always reveals himself to me in ways that are so me, in ways that only I will understand, always at a time that is so right and yet so unexpected. Yesterday was truly a turning point for me in this journey toward being my healthiest self, and I can’t wait to see what happens next.

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