I’m struggling a little bit today. And the truth is, I struggle a little bit (or a lot-bit) every day, in some way. And then I am faced with this other struggle – the struggle of what I portray on social media. I’ve worried since day 1 of starting my Facebook page that I wouldn’t portray reality. I wanted to be transparent and real, but I also wanted to put forward ideas and images that would encourage, inspire, and add value to people’s lives. I wanted people to see what I was doing to try to live a healthy life – my workouts, my meals, my sketches, etc. I’ve tried to include posts about failures and struggles as well, but I don’t know if those always come through.
I was at a women’s event at church with some friends and it included dinner and dessert. As I began on my delicious caramel cake, my friend leaned over and said how it was nice to see that I post about workouts and healthy living, but I also indulge every now and then too. I was so grateful she said that because it caused me to think for a second about what I put out there for the world to see, and what I don’t.
The thing is, if I don’t post a picture of my caramel cake or my glass of wine or my cookie, its truly and honestly NOT because I am trying to be sneaky or hide it. It is NOT because I want to portray perfection when in reality I am not perfect. It is more because I honestly don’t think about it. I look at my new healthy recipe I just cooked or the tough workout I just pushed through, and automatically think I should post it because maybe it will encourage someone else. I don’t usually get that thought when I’m eating junk food or not exercising.
So, then, I’m faced with the struggle of how I’m portraying myself. And as I ponder that today I guess I just have to realize that no matter what or how hard I try, I can not post every second of every day on social media. And because of that, anyone who knows me on social media will only get a fraction of my reality. It’s not less real, it’s just not my whole reality.
So I guess I just wanted to put in writing a bit more of my heart and my reality, so that maybe, if someone sees this, they will get a better glimpse into who I really am than just by seeing my posts on Facebook. I am not a nutritionist or an exercise expert. I learned what I know about nutrition and portion control from 21 Day Fix and I have learned how to maintain that healthy mindset into my every day life. I eat mostly clean, and mostly healthy, and I workout most days. Not every day. Not every meal. My heart for my Facebook page is to offer encouragement, ideas, inspiration, and help to anyone who will benefit from it. I hope to come across as my true self – someone who cares deeply for other people and who struggles daily, just like everyone else.
I am learning so much about myself lately and it seems that at the end of every day, I come to the conclusion that I am a deeply flawed person in desperate need of Jesus. I am doing the best I can to take care of myself and my family, while sharing my heart with others, but it is not, and will never be, perfect. So I hope you can understand that and be encouraged by it.